


I made it here all by myself --- but I'm lonely

by minigigi



Series: what's in a name [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, BAMF Peter Parker, Dead May Parker (Spider-Man), Gen, Hopeful Ending, Orphan Peter Parker, Peter Parker Cries, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is Tony Stark's Biological Child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:35:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26780737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minigigi/pseuds/minigigi
Summary: Peter Parker always knew about his biological father, Tony Stark, and the less than heartwarming circumstances of his birth. He's spent years without meeting him, but the topic comes to haunt him when he starts applying to colleges. MIT wants to know how family molded him into the person he is today. Maybe he should let them know.
Relationships: Pepper Potts & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe) & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: what's in a name [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2112267
Comments: 48
Kudos: 490





	I made it here all by myself --- but I'm lonely

**Author's Note:**

> Uh, this one kind of got away from me. This is like, over 6,000 words, or whatever the word count will say when I finish editing this. This is just less than half than Ransom AU. I had a lot of feelings while writing this.

Peter's family tree haunts the teenager. It's the ache in his bones when he starts to write his personal statements for a handful of private colleges asking about how family molded him into the person he is today. The cloudiness at the edges of his eyes that he tries to tell himself is from the lack of sleep.

When the inevitable small talk topic of family comes up, as far as Peter is concerned, it's just him and May. And Ben, may his memory be a blessing.

May is a powerhouse of a mother as is, although Peter tries to ignore the strain in her smile when she comes home every day from work after a 12-hour shift. Since Ben died – _it wasn't his fault, it was his fault, he should've known better, why'd he leave_ – Peter tries to make himself useful around their little home.

He's sixteen years old now. Although he would love to start working, there's an issue about the name on his birth certificate. It's a small detail. Minor.

May tries to tell Peter it's for the better that he can just focus on school and his handful of extracurriculars. It's good for Peter to make friends. Peter doesn't have the heart to tell her that he just doesn't want to be home alone. That he's lonely. That he wants to spend more time with her.

It's his fault that Ben died.

So, he washes his dishes right after he uses them. He vacuums and mops. He wipes down all the little trinkets May saved over the years, paying particular care to the old wedding favors leftover from May's and Ben's wedding just before Peter was born.

He's currently trying to persuade May to let him try to cancel their cable bill. May doesn't even get a chance to really enjoy trash television anyways. She works and comes home to eat and sleep. And then they'll watch old DVDs together with a warm blanket shared between the two. May usually knocks out before finishing a movie.

Peter stares, red-eyed and lips thinned, at the blank word document.

How was he supposed to describe his family and how it shaped him…?

If it were to be any other college – like his safe schools, CUNY or Syracuse, or the like – Peter would easily go with his original narrative. The one that _feels_ the most truthful. Just him and May. The dynamic duo.

But this is MIT.

And his… biological father is a well-acclaimed alumnus. That alone can grant him a full-ride to attend the school. And the trust fund waiting for Peter can be set for May.

Even better, he may even be able to leverage a full-ride offer to MIT against a closer school for a better financial aid package. Maybe even living costs included.

Peter keeps asking May if there are any conditions about his trust fund. _Gah, I sound like Flash, my trust fund…_ And as far as the two know, it was that, so long as Peter stays out of his biological father's hair, he gets to keep it. But will he be breaking some unspoken rule about disclosing this to school admission counselors?

He doesn't even know how much is in the trust fund if it's worth keeping silent over. For all he knows, it could be $5,000, just enough to cover four years of textbooks, electronics, and various school supplies. If he budgets.

He's already managed to save $500 the past four years _just_ to submit his college applications. If he hadn't had a fee waiver for his SAT or several other college applications, he wouldn't even have considered MIT.

His biological father, as far as the media is concerned, is a happy family man, with a beautiful four-old-daughter, Morgan, the beloved media darling, heiress to clean energy, and all things technological. Photoshoots of their happy little family grace the covers of magazines a handful of times a year.

Peter's not upset. Really, he isn't.

He's happy with his little family. Really, he is.

And, like Michelle would probably tell him right now if she was here, fuck Tony Stark.

And so, Peter starts to write.

_My father nurtured a love of science that - - -_

LINEBREAK

Tony stretches his legs, long overdue from that terrible award ceremony he was forced to speak for his old alma mater. These past four years, they've become incredibly persistent in asking him to speak, talking about legacy or whatever. But, now that Morgan is eight years old and top of her class in all of her courses, pianist and ballerina, and more, Tony's starting to think about her future. Not just as his daughter, his heir, the light of his eyes, but whether she'll have the resources to succeed in _whatever_ path she chooses.

And ballerinas do not get paid well. Like, at all, really. His accountant flinched when he started to incorporate her ballerina dreams into their financial planning. Pepper, with the grace of the Queen of England herself, smoothed out any conflict before it happened, with a gentle, "we want to be able to support our daughter's dreams, whatever it may be. I trust ballet isn't going to bankrupt all of Stark Industries." The accountant nervously laughed and went on to budget accordingly.

A waiter at the event passes by Tony offering a champagne flute, which Tony gladly takes. Just as he finishes his last sip, a professor – the department chair of something engineering, maybe – appears in front of him. Tony suddenly wants another drink.

"Mister Stark, sir, I'd love for you to meet the top of our class, Mister Peter Parker."

Peter Parker. _Peter Parker_. The name brings ice down his spine, but why. Tony gives a minute nod, which the professor takes as good as any invitation to bring a student forward.

Tony finds himself meeting the familiar brown eyes of the young man before him, framed with a mop of curly hair that seemed like there was a halfhearted attempt to tame them hours before.

The brief moment of eye contact seemed too much for the young student, who quickly averts his eyes. Tony almost excuses it for mere embarrassment to be paraded in front of a celebrity. But then the professor continues.

"Yes, he's continuing his father's legacy, that's to be sure. When we read his personal statement at first, talking about following his father's footsteps, we thought he meant, like, a love of science, but this fine young man seems to be continuing the next steps for his senior thesis. We're just glad we get to keep him for grad school, too!"

Various words seem to bounce around Tony's head and the undeniable familiarity of the features of the young man.

 _Peter_.

Whatever the department chair says next, Tony can't hear it, as all of a sudden, his ears are ringing, _his blood pressure_. And then, the older man just leaves them!

Tony wants to throw up.

He's certain, all of a sudden, that this young man is his son. The very son he told Mary to keep away from him. He tries to open his mouth to say something, but what can he say? He feels his chest tighten around his arrhythmic heart, beating hard against his ribs.

The _kid_ seems to also be at a loss on what to say.

Tony wants to know if he _knows_ , maybe there's an off chance the kid hasn't checked his birth certificate for what, two decades? Maybe his mom didn't tell him? Like, he gave him a trust fund for a reason.

At last, before Tony can deign to pretend to be ignorant, the kid – _Peter_ – says, "it's nice to meet you, sir, but I have to go."

 _Works for me_ , Tony thinks to himself. A small weight off his shoulders.

As soon as the kid appeared, he disappears into the crowds, in a half-jog.

Tony stands by himself, as the crowds of people continue to mingle around him. He tries to breathe evenly – _eight seconds in, hold, two, three, four, out, two, three, four, five, six_ – and once he feels like his heart is back in rhythm, he walks out of the event.

It still might not be his kid—a small chance.

 _His father's footsteps_. Which father was the professor talking about? _Fuck_.

The kid better not have blabbed about him.

Tony ducks into an empty dark hallway part of the building, opens the first classroom door he finds and puts on his glasses.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y., find all the information on Peter Parker, a student at MIT."

A read-out of a wealth of information comes on the screen.

PETER BENJAMIN PARKER

GENDER: MALE

AGE: 20

"Skip all the basic biographic information. Is he my son?"

And, to no surprise, his birth certificate read.

MOTHER'S MAIDEN NAME: MARY FITZGERALD

FATHER'S NAME: ANTHONY EDWARD STARK

"And—and his personal statement, what'd it say?"

TELL US ABOUT THE MOST SIGNIFICANT CHALLENGE YOU'VE FACED…

AT MIT, WE BRING PEOPLE TOGETHER TO BETTER THE LIVES OF OTH…

WE KNOW YOU LEAD A BUSY LIFE, FULL OF ACTIVITIES, MANY OF W…

PICK WHAT FIELD OF STUDY AT MIT APPEALS TO YOU THE MOST RI…

DESCRIBE THE WORLD YOU COME FROM; FOR EXAMPLE, YOUR FAM…

The last essay prompt is automatically selected.

_My father nurtured a love of science that made me the person I am today. The last morning I saw him alive, he set down a black and white photocopy diagram of a DNA molecule and told me it was a new page for a coloring book. Looking back now, I'm sure it was taken from his old course textbooks. He took the world around him and made it make sense for five-year-old Peter Parker._

_After the death of my parents, my guardians made sure I never forgot them. Stories of their work at OSCORP, ground-breaking work at the time, on bio-hacking the DNA molecule to make it resistant to disease ---_

Tony stops.

So, while Tony's status as a dead-beat father is still a secret – well, to anyone that isn't Pepper and the legal team at his company – is his kid an orphan?

"Pull up any information on any and all guardians for Peter Parker, F.R.I."

Headlines spanning decades litter his glasses. It's too much information.

Tony looks around and double-checks the window in the classroom doorway, is still dark, and pulls out a projection tile from his pocket that he turns the teacher's desk in the corner into a holo-table.

The newspaper clippings now are more readable, and they tell a tragedy.

> TOP SCIENTISTS ON THE VERGE OF CANCER VACCINE KILLED IN AIRPLANE CRASH – 3/20/2004 – NEW YORK TIMES
> 
> MAN KILLED IN CRIME WAVE THAT CONTINUES TO HAUNT QUEENS, LEAVING BEHIND A WIFE AND HIS NEPHEW HE ADOPTED FROM FAMED SCIENTISTS – 10/11/2015 – QUEENS HERALD
> 
> OBITUARY: MAY A. PARKER, 52 OF QUEENS, NEW YORK, DIED PEACEFULLY ON JANUARY 3, 2017 AFTER A BRIEF ILLNESS – QUEENS HERALD

So, two... three times orphaned? But headlines continued.

> VALEDICTORIAN PETER B. PARKER LEADS MIDTOWN ACADECA TEAM TO VICTORY AT NATIONALS – 5/10/2017 – MIDTOWN GAZETTE
> 
> QUEENS ORPHAN SETS UP SCHOLARSHIP FUND FOR ORPHANS AND FOSTER KIDS, DETAILS INSIDE – 6/10/2017 – QUEENS TIMES

"W- what money did he use for the scholarship? How'd that get funded?"

A very invasive read-out of Peter's financial records appears, and the life insurance for May Parker, a mere $100,000, the remaining $40,000 after paying for rent for the months after her death, as well as funeral costs and leftover medical bills, were allocated for the scholarship fund. Peter still hasn't touched the trust fund.

"Does he know that I'm his father?"

"I can't find the answer among the available data, sir."

"Yeah, I guess not. How about any reference to me, or Stark Industries on his social media?"

"A single tweet mentioned him in reference to an internship position at Stark Industries from classmate Betty Brant, to which he _liked_ but did no further commentary."

"And did he apply? To anything?"

"No, he did not."

"Is that out of norm for him? Was he really selective in applying to internships?"

"He applied to 78 internships, including to Stark Industries competitors like OSCORP, Hammer Technologies, and IBM."

"Did he get any offers?"

"Yes, but rejected all of them after the death of May Parker."

Yeah. That tracks.

He doesn't know what else to do. When in doubt, talk to Pepper. Who is still at home in New York.

LINEBREAK

Pepper eyes Tony warily from her seat as he paces around the sitting room of their Manhattan penthouse. It's early in the morning, so their floor-to-ceilings windows wash the entire area in bright light.

Tony tries to start, but whatever he wants to say gets caught in his throat, and he continues to pace.

"How about we start with a, _do we have a fire to put out_?"

"I- I don't think so?"

Pepper sighs and stands up, catching Tony's eyes.

"So, what happened?"

"I… I might've met my son?"

"Mary's kid?"

"Yeah."

Tony stares at Pepper, waiting for her reaction, and feeling the weight of whatever she says next, Pepper takes a deep breath and tries to collect her thoughts.

"How'd it go?"

"He—he brushed me off?"

"And… and it was at the MIT graduation award ceremony?"

"Yeah?"

"Okay. Did he ask you for anything? Did he say anything about you…?"

"No, no, he couldn't get away fast enough, it seems."

"Okay, so there's no issue?"

"Well, no, but… I feel like I'm supposed to be doing something here?"

"Well, he has his trust fund, he shouldn't need any financial help, and Mary has your medical history, so no trouble there."

"Mary's dead."

Pepper jerks back a little.

"And apparently Richard, and his aunt and uncle that took him in."

Pepper sits back down.

"Alright. Okay. He's, what, twenty-one years old, right?"

"Twenty, actually, his birthday's coming up."

"And, you, what? Wanted to get him a birthday present?"

"No? Maybe? I probably should do something? Like, hey, sorry your life is all messed up, and I didn't help when you needed me most?"

"Mary knew what to expect when you signed off to terminate your parental rights."

"Okay, but morally? I'm the villain? I'm the guy who leaves the baby at the firehouse that everyone hates in movies."

"You weren't ready to have a kid, then, Tony."

"Well, yeah, but obviously that wasn't an issue when we had Morgan."

"Please don't bring our daughter into this discussion."

"Why not? She has a brother that I just met for the first time last night, and we're just going to leave it be?"

"What else did you want to do, give away Stark Industries to a stranger?"

"No! Well,… should we? Like a partial beneficiary or inherited stocks or something?"

"He has no claim, why are you trying to make problems, Tony?"

"Because I feel bad! I left my son—"

"He's not your son. He knows that. His guardians knew that. I know that. All of our legal team knows that. And you, at one point, knew that."

"But shouldn't I have kept better track of him? Did you know he's top of his graduating class at MIT?"

"No, obviously, no, I didn't know, Tony."

"Or—or, right after his last guardian died, he used the leftover insurance money for a scholarship fund for orphans and students in the foster care system?"

"Tony, what's the point to all of this?"

"I'm proud of my son, who I had never given the light of day, I'm proud of him, but I wasn't there to see any of that. Like, he's literally a better version of me, selfless and resilient and strong and… none of that came from me. Like, did he becomes the amazing man he is today, despite my neglect? Because of it? Should I be paying for his probably very much needed therapy? Oh my god, does he even know how to access his trust fund? Like taxes-wise? Should I send our tax team over?"

"Tony, you're spiraling."

Pepper gathers Tony in her arms, and her husband rests his head on her shoulder.

"I feel so bad. Before, it was like, just a concept, an abstract baby. And now, even if he wasn't my son, I'd want to meet him because he's so good and smart."

"I'm not saying you can't meet him, Tony. If you want to meet him, you can, you don't need any other reason. But, you have to think about how it will look. And if you involve yourself in his life, how will we tell Morgan?"

"Tell me what?"

Pepper and Tony jump back and look at the eight-year-old little girl standing in the middle of the doorway to their sitting room.

"So, I have a baby brother coming?"

Tony makes a face and turns to one of the windows, while Pepper walks to their daughter and kneels on her knees to get to her eye level.

"No, honey, no baby brother, but we have something to tell you, and it might be confusing, so feel free to ask any questions you have, okay, sweetie?"

"Okay." Once Pepper is back on her feet, she holds her daughter's small little hands and walks her to the chaise lounge. Tony gets the hint and sits at the armchair across the coffee table between the two seating areas.

There's an awkward silence before Tony starts to speak.

"Twenty years ago, I liked another woman, we'll call her Mary – so, this wasn't Mommy, this was way before Mommy, and I fell in love – and I gave Mary a baby. But I didn't know how to take care of a baby, and Mary said she could take care of the baby without me. And she moved away."

Morgan scrunches her face a little. "Where's the baby now?"

"Well, because this was twenty years ago, this baby is now all grown up, well, not quite grown up. You remember your friend, Samantha?"

Morgan nods.

"Okay, and how Samantha has an older sister in college?"

"Mhmm."

"The baby is now Samantha's older sister's age, and he's in college too."

"How come I never met him? Does he not like me?"

"Well, I don't know if he knows that I'm his dad. Or that you're his sister."

Pepper's lips turn into a half frown before she quickly schools it back into a reassuring expression.

"How come you didn't tell him?"

"It's been such a very long time, I don't know how to tell him."

"Easy, you call him, Daddy!"

Tony drops his head a little with a silent sigh. Pepper takes this as her opening to steer the conversation into a bit less complicated mess.

"Honey, this boy – he never met Daddy, or Mommy, or even you. He lived his whole life, had his own parents—" at this, Tony clenches his fists at his knees, head still low "—who he thought were his real parents. And Daddy doesn't want to make him upset to think his parents aren't really his parents. And the people who took care of him loved him very much. It might hurt his feelings."

"But… why? I'd be sad if I didn't have Daddy as my daddy…" The little girl looks to her father, and feeling the weight of her eyes, Tony looks up.

"Of course, and I'd be sad if I didn't have you, munchkin."

"But, you're not sad that you don't have my brother?"

Before Tony can even try to navigate that minefield of a question, Pepper rushes to answer.

"It's not that he's not sad, but that your… brother is okay where he is now, he doesn't know any different, and it might be better to not make him confused."

"But can I still meet him?"

"Maybe when you're older, sweetie." The little girl huffs but leaves it at that.

LINEBREAK

Later that day, Pepper finds Tony hiding his lab, and displayed across the project display are various pieces of information about Mary's kid.

"I think I want to meet him, Pep," Tony says, never once turning to face her.

"Okay."

"At the very least, he'd be a good recruit for Stark Industries. Logistically speaking."

"How so?"

"He's 75% done with building his own A.I., which, according to his twitter, he'll name Karen because his favorite cartoon has a computer named Karen on it."

"Karen…"

"And although his Master's coursework closer resembles Richard's work than mine, Peter's work on DNA-spider silk nanohydrogels for some medical purpose can add a new dimension to our ongoing nanotechnology work, if I understand his already submitted literature review correctly."

"Okay…"

"And, maybe I can push him to some of my own connections at MIT, and maybe he can take a few courses at their MBA program to be a bit more well-rounded—"

"Tony, before you start planning a future for him, you have to meet him first. You don't even know what he wants to do." 

"Well, he obviously wants to work in the STEM field."

"But for Stark Industries? For you?"

"Well, I can always put in a good word to whatever company he wants to work with."

"Tony, just… just meet him before you actually start to put action into whatever plans you're making. And let me know please."

Tony quickly minimizes a small window that Pepper briefly can see a half-written e-mail, before he turns back to face her with a pinched smile.

"Of course, Pep."

She rolls her eyes and gives what she hopes is an easy-going smile.

"Don't overdo it, honey. Don't freak him out. Keep in mind what he might be feeling, okay, check-in to see if he feels anxious or scared or any other overwhelming feelings, okay."

Tony's eyebrows pinch a little before he nods.

Pepper feels an ache she can't quite verbalize but accepts it nonetheless. A silent moment passes between the pair before Pepper sighs silently to herself.

"Alright, Tony. I'm going to head up to bed. Don't stay here for too long, okay."

"Of course, I'll be there shortly."

Pepper nods and heads back out.

LINEBREAK

Tony's hands shake – a terrible cocktail mix of anxiety, excitement, fear, and so much more. Although he loves meeting people who can mentally keep up with him, to know that a kid – that he… anyways, thoughts of working with his son in the lab, side by side, bumping shoulders in the middle of tasks, blasting AC/DC – Tony didn't even check his Spotify! Does Peter even like rock music? Does he even own a premium Spotify account? Where does he listen to his music? Did his guardians embark on some emotional ties to other music genres? Maybe he can start that as his first small topic conversation starter.

Tony climbs up the stairs to an unofficial student apartment housing. Unofficial, but 99% of all the tenants are students, in one way or another, for MIT. The stairs creak uneasily beneath his feet. Every other overhead light in the hallways and stairwells flicker like the beginning of a horror movie. God, Tony doesn't even want to think about the germs on the handrails.

He taps twice on his sunglasses to double-check he has the right address. And F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s ongoing profile on Peter lists him at having stayed here for just over a year, after moving out of the dorms.

Tony Stark's son, slumming it amongst the common folk at MIT. It'll be a great first chapter on an undoubtedly interesting biography. Tony can almost hear Pepper's voice in his head, telling him not to get ahead of himself.

Once Tony finds himself knocking – before he can scare himself out of it entirely – he notices the number of the unit missing the bottom nail attaching the rusted out _9_ from unit #109, so it wobbles with each knock.

" _Who is it_?" a muffled voice calls from behind the door.

Tony doesn't quite know how to respond. Should he respond, oh, your biological father? Or, Tony Stark? Maybe he should go with Anthony, maybe that'll confuse him long enough to open the door to check—

And it appears the decision is out of his hands, and the door swings open to reveal the same brown-eyed, floppy-haired young man he saw the day before yesterday. He's in an oversized MIT sweatshirt and jeans, with a book bag, balanced on a shoulder that's clearly straining with the weight of an untold number of books hidden under its flap. Peter's obviously on his way out.

"So, you might know who I am," Tony tries to start, lightheartedly.

"Do you mean Tony Stark, owner of Stark Industries, or my father?"

"Both?"

Peter narrows his eyes as he looks at Tony, and the older man doesn't quite know what to do with himself, so he gives an awkward smile that he can only hope that it expresses his intentions.

Whatever it may be, Peter sighs and moves back to allow Tony to walk inside, and the younger man drops his book back on the floor right where he stands. A small _thud_ makes the floorboards creak. The ill-supported flooring directs Tony's attention at the gloomy and cheap apartment. Although it's clean, it's also bare, with a single cheap sofa with a single coffee table, no television or anything. He can see a clean kitchen in the corner, but with a single pan on the stovetop. Before he can continue his assessment, he hears Peter clear his throat.

Facing the young adult, who is now crossing his arms and an annoyed look on his face, Tony doesn't know what to say, so he opens his mouth and lets the words reflexively roll out.

"So, I definitely dropped the ball, like biggest ball ever to drop, that's me. Uh, not quite sure the story you were told, but it was probably very generous. I was a mess when you were born. In fact, I don't think I ever met you, not even baby you. I didn't see your mother after uh…"

Tony clears his throat and checks in to see that Peter looks very annoyed.

"Right, uh, I bumped into you that other event, and kind of clicked that you were my kid, because, although I never really kept tabs, I knew your name, so hearing, rising student star Peter Parker, I kind of knew? The alarm bells were ringing?"

"So, you did know."

"Well, I knew of you and your name, which I had to, for legal reasons for your trust fund, which is still available to you, by the way."

"I'm aware."

"And you know how to access it?"

"Yeah."

"That's good. Yeah, uh, I can send over my tax guy to help you out to make sure your taxes are all squared away, and he'll do it for free as a favor to me."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"What are you doing here, Mister Stark?"

"Well, kid, I guess I met you the other day, but I didn't really meet you. I haven't been there, and I guess I wanted to introduce myself, so, yeah, Tony Stark, genius, billionaire, philanthropist extraordinaire. At your service," Tony ends, animatedly holding his hand out for a handshake.

Peter eyes him warily before shaking his hand. "Peter Parker, which you already knew."

"Yes." An awkward pause. "So that professor, department chair guy that introduced us---"

"Mister Stark, I have plans. If you need me to sign a non-disclosure agreement or something, you can mail it, and I haven't told anyone else."

"No, yeah, I get that, but I just wanted to officially meet you."

"And now we've been introduced, but, sir, I have to go, honest, I do."

"Look, Peter, I haven't been there for you, like, at all. A real dead-beat father stereotype. And I want to be better. I know I can't take away all the shit I've done – or rather, I haven't done – but I want to be better for you, I want to be in your life." Peter keeps quiet, so Tony pushes on. "So, what do you say about that? Can we start a relationship, as father and son?"

"You don't even know me, sir." Tony doesn't know how to respond, because while it's true he doesn't really know him, he knows all the scientific breakthroughs and down to his student ID number. But that might come off creepy.

Peter stares him down and huffs a little, seemingly works himself to start to say something he might've held onto for a while. 

"I don't believe that a parent's love should be conditional. And, that's what this feels like. Because I'm who you wanted a theoretical child to be, to grow up to be, only now do I deserve your attention and maybe even affection. And, even if I wanted to pretend the last twenty years of life never happened, I can't ignore that fact, Mister Stark. I'm sorry."

Tony feels his heart shatter. Because it does seem like that's exactly what's happening. He didn't realize how it would look to Peter, how it would feel. This is like, if Tony actually did meet the impossible expectations set forth by Howard, and won over his love, would it be real? Would he even want it? He never thought…

Peter continues, "I'm sorry you feel the way that you do, I'm sorry circumstances are the way that they are, and I'm in the field that I'm in, that we had to meet in that awkward networking mixer…" Peter gives a short wet laugh and goes to fix his glasses, but Tony can see him try to quickly wipe his teary eyes.

"I can't have the father-son relationship you want with the way things are. But…"

Peter looks up to meet Tony's eyes.

"But, you're not a bad person, you made the best decision you could've at the time, and I forgive you. Maybe we can be colleagues or something in the future, but you can't come into my life and try to be my father."

Tony can't breathe. He doesn't want things to end the way they are before it even starts. He doesn't want to chance that he'll never run into this kind and amazing human being ever again because he didn't try.

"What about as a friend? In whatever capacity you want me to be, I want to be that for you, Pete. No conditions. Even if you drop out of MIT, right now, and decide to turn into a farmer in the middle of nowhere, I still want to talk to you."

Peter crosses his arms, almost as if trying to hug himself but doesn't say anything.

"Even if you just want an extra hand at moving to a new apartment, I'll be there, no conditions, no questions asked."

Peter isn't even looking at Tony at this point, but a little to Tony's left at the graying wallpaper behind him, but Peter looks like he's trying hard not to cry.

"We can start with a cup of coffee and work from there. No rushing to playing catch in the park or anything. Unless you want to. And then, we can go straight to Target or something and buy a tennis ball or something."

Peter breaks out a wet laugh. "Baseball, it's a baseball, not a tennis ball. Tennis balls are for dogs."

"And it won't be conditional, Pete, we're not there yet, but if and when we do, it won't be conditional. And at any point, even in the middle of a conversation, you can tell me to leave, I'll honor that. You'll be in charge at whatever pace this takes."

Peter backs up a little until the back of his knees hit his rumpled couch, and he sits down.

Tony follows and kneels behind the coffee table so that it establishes space between the two men, so Peter won't feel his personal space invaded. This might've been what Pepper meant about checking in to see that Peter wasn't overwhelmed. He clearly is.

"I know it feels like this terrible sensation that you somehow earned my attention and all that, and I can't lie to you and say that I would've been here if we met under different circumstances, but I'm here, and I'd like to get to know you, even if you weren't my son, and I'm sorry for not being there for you at any point in your life, I—this is all a mess, not a great first meeting, kid, but, we—if we try, I'll try my best to not let you down again, and we can even have a whole family therapy thing with my therapist—and—"

With every single sentence that falls out of Tony's mouth, Peter shrinks more and more into his seat, scrunching his arms forward to cover his face.

Although Tony undoubtedly realizes that he's the reason for whatever feeling he's feeling, he doesn't know how bad he's doing, and it seems like the more he speaks, the worse it gets, and at some point, as he monologues more, Peter stops him.

"Mister Stark!" Peter looks up at Tony, tears tracking down his face. "I—this is all too much!"

Tony swallows dryly and just inches back a little as if to give Peter more space to breathe.

"I don't know if we can ever have the father-son relationship you imagined in the past, what, 36 hours since we've bumped into each other."

"Okay," Tony says slowly.

Peter takes a deep breath and uses the edges of his sleeves to wipe his face furiously before he can look at Tony again.

"I know it'll probably be inevitable that we'll bump into each other in the future, even if I kicked you out right now, just with how things the way they are… So, I won't…"

"Won't what, Pete?"

"I won't tell you to leave and never see me again."

"Okay."

"But I don't know what I want. I.. knew about you since the beginning, and it really fucking hurts, this whole situation, and… I'm just very confused?"

"About what?"

"Like, your intentions? I don't know anything about you, and now that I'm smart, you want a life with me? And there's some part of me that does want that? Like, stupid cliché, let's play catch in the park, Hallmark moment. Okay? But I can't let you into my life like what happened didn't really happen."

"So, what do you want to do?"

"I… don't know."

"Okay, how about we take it, just, one step at a time. We can grab—" Tony looks at his watch, "—lunch and just talk and ask each other questions."

"Like, an interview?" Peter scrunches his face, but all it does it make a stray tear fall onto his jeans.

"Or, like an informational meeting, like you have with your professors?"

"Like talking over coffee?"

"Yeah, but over a substantial lunch? I might not have been in Cambridge for a while, but I remember some good spots."

Peter rubs his face again before seemingly drying his hands on his jeans.

"Okay. But, no personal questions."

"Okay."

"And we need boundaries. I—I don't like that you came to my apartment without talking to me or even asking me where I lived. It's invasive." Tony feels warmth in his chest because although he already messed up, Peter isn't scared to correct him and is still willing to move forward.

"I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

Peter nods a bit.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah."

Peter stands up and fixes his sweatshirt before walking to where he left his book bag. As Tony moves to follow him, ignoring the almost silent popping of his joints, he asks, "what about your plans?"

"I'll text my friends to cancel. They'll understand."

"Alright, then."

Peter opens the door and allows Tony to walk out first.

Peter takes a last look at his threadbare apartment and locks the door behind him, before following Tony into an unprecedented future.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay! I kept reading this out loud to my husband intermittently, and he'd say, don't make Peter cry! That's embarrassing! But like, Peter went through some tough shit. Like, it almost feels like a Cinderella story? Or like, Tangled, actually, where you find your real parents, and they end up caring about you after all? It was hard, because, I really wanted Peter to slam the door in Tony's face. That part where he talks about, this feels conditional, I don't like it, we can't rebuild from this, but after I wrote it, the emotional angst **I** felt writing it, kind of was released? It was a cathartic moment for me writing this. And, Peter's an orphan at this point in his life, and although I spent more time writing in Tony's POV -- mainly because I can relate to his thought processes just rushing to points B, C, D, E, and skipping over the main point, A -- but Peter's still kind of hurt. I wrote it to end on a hopeful note, like, although Peter might feel trapped into keeping some kind of relationship with the guy -- especially since they are kind of in the same field, sort of, and he might burn more than just a bridge if he cut him out of his life. Anyways. It was definitely an experience writing this. I hope you like it. Please comment and leave kudos.


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